A monster

I am sad. I am sad because for a quick second I forgot. I completely forgot. And I actually got along with her and treated her like a friend. I can’t believe I did that. It’s so hard to see when someone’s that way. When someone is so full of hate. So full of prejudice. I had forgot that she was homophobic. Her name is Alex M. I won’t tell you her last name. Client confidentiality and all that. But Alex lives in the cottage with the other kids and I. That means I have to see this disgraces face every single day. Sorry let me start from the beginning. Last night I let Alex borrow my charger. Later that night I noticed the chips she was eating and said they were awesome. Alex then took her chips and ran away. Don’t worry this is not why I hate her. Ms.Clark then proceeded to call Alex back into the room and tell her how rude she was to not let me have one of her things when she consistently uses mine. I told her I was joking. She then tried to leave and Ms Clark called her back and continued to yell at her. It’s not because of the chips their just chips. But Alex always behaves this way. She’s always mean rude and has no respect for others. We fight constantly and the next morning the new girl in the cottage L. had an emotional breakdown about it. At first I thought she was absurd saying things to her like you could just leave! Or so what? But after thinking about throughout both 1rst and 2cd periods I realized I was wrong. We shouldn’t have to put her through all that. So when on the bus I told Ms. Clark and Alex that I would agree to stop fighting with Alex , ok so its more like I promised I’d try and Alex said she would in return. So then it was like we were friends again. It was like my breaking off our friendship because of her homophobia never even occurred. I even forgot. I forgot about that horrible part of her. That horrible peace that just wouldn’t stop echoing in my head when ever I saw her face. We walked down to After school drama together. Laughing talking being friends. But then I saw her computer background. It was a picture of judge Judy With a caption that stated “You’re a faggot case closed” Then I got sad. Not angry, not obsessed just, sad. I wish I could’ve been angry. I wish I could actually hate her like I say I do but, I just don’t. I don’t hate her because there are good sides to her. There is goodness in her, I wish she was some monster some evil faceless being. I wish she was so I could hate her. But I can’t. I can’t because I know she’s human to. I can’t because I know how kind she can be. I wish she was a monster. I really do.

-January 15^th 3:39